Exercises in Futility Do Not Burn Calories

First off:

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Okay, now that that’s taken care of, I was reading my horoscope for this Flash Flood Warning’d, First Full Day of Summer, no sunshine morning and it tells me - well hell. You read it:

So what does that have to do with a cat warming its butt on a coffee maker? Nothing, I just thought it was cute and it’s Monday - I need all the cute I can find.

Anyway, the stars are getting into my need for a to do list on Mondays and kicking it up a notch since it’s the first day of summer and the whatever is my “house” since I’m a total crab. Wait that didn’t come out right….

So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to do a to do list for this week and then a larger resolution for the year type list. I expect the larger resolutions will hinge on getting the week’s list done honestly, but here we are anyway and just go with it, okay?

To Do:

*Keep my job one more week (come on Hoosier Lotto, Powerball let me down)
*Find either a WIP or a new idea to wrap my imagination around.
*Post up my parent’s Wedding Anniversary photos up to Facebook. Yes, I have Facebook. No, I don’t go there often because everyone in my family has Facebook. If you knew my family, you’d understand.
*Clean my house.
*Nap.

At least one of those things isn’t going to get done today and it’s not the one I’m hoping for.

Cosmic New Year Resolution List:

*Learn how to write a query letter
*Learn how to pitch (books, not baseballs)
*Finish reading a book that I didn’t write
*Find a writing group
*Buck my midwestern upbringing and promote my work and this site.
*Win NaNoWriMo again
*Clear out my bookmarks (466 just on Yahoo alone!)
*Learn how to write an outline
*Enjoy life more

That should do it I think. If I have time left over in the year, maybe I’ll take up skydiving or something. Maybe not. Work beckons.

Tags: Link, to do

Okay, I know I said I had something to tout for Tuesday, but it turns out I already touted it. I thought about plugging my book that just went up at Amazon.com, but I’m from the Midwest and it’s considered tacky to be proud of your accomplishments here. Tuesday came and went and Wednesday is nearly over so I’m thinking maybe a rethink on the posting schedule. Again. Crap.

I’m considering offering my Harry on Kindle. I’ve been looking into ePub a lot lately (to the point I’ve stopped writing all together). Have ISBN, will travel. I was so squee-rificly excited to get that little number. I want to print cards and hand them out at the library. It’s a writer thing.

Back to work.

Tags: my ISBN let me shows you it

So here we are at Monday again. I’m posting because I blew off all last weeks posts. I had a couple of good excuses, but mostly I just didn’t have anything to say.

I’ve listed Harry of Crack for sale. That’s progress. I didn’t proof it completely. I realized I never was going to do it so I threw caution to the wind. It’s listed on Amazon.Com, but it’s showing up as out of print. I’m not sure why that is, but I’m looking into it.

So on the to do list this week:

*Keep my job for just a little while longer
*Find some inspiration
*Don’t wear fear or nobody will know I’m here

I’ve got something to Tout for Tuesday so I’m ahead of the game on that. Also I’ve got some ideas for Saturday. Now for the rest of the week….

Tags: to do

Don’t be such a big baby.

Sorry, I can’t help it. Today, the only thing I’m touting is my bed. It’s very comfy with lots of pillows and one of those memory foam mattress toppers. I had a medical proceedure today that TMI forbids me from mentioning specifics past saying I had a medical proceedure and I love my bed and it’s curl-up-on capabilities.

Also I love my wireless printer and its convenient location right next to the chair my children sit in when they’re playing games in the living room. I’d like to say I only print messages asking for drinks and snacks when I’m in pain, but I’d be lying. Oh the lazy, it grows exponentially with the size of my ass.

Drugs are kicking in so I’m out.

Tags: Random

I was motivated quite early this morning by a home repair contractor who “wanted to get started before the rain” at 7AM. Seven in the ever fricken lovin’ morning! I was sleeping after having told everyone in my office I was going to be so late to the office I might not be in at all. (I was here by 930A FYI) I was prepared for sleeping in!

On the ToDo list for this week:

*Pick up my book and get the goddamn proof read!! Do it and get it over with for crying out loud!

*Make interconnected tunnels through the kids stuff in the kitchen and living room because their room has been gutted by the aforementioned home repair contractor.

*Go to my happy place and hide there. I have to share a bathroom with my kids *shudder* Boys are icky.

*Work

That’s about it. I can’t seem to find a story I want to tell now that Harry has gotten his happy ending. Maybe I’ll have that on the ToDo list for next week. Until tomorrow.

Tags: Random, to do

Believe it or not, I’m a little disappointed in the first weekly Shirtless Saturday. I spent a good portion of the day (okay about 20 minutes) looking for the inaugural hottie, but I could not find my screen cap archive on my back up drive and I can’t remember the name of my screencap Photobucket account. It’s just been too long. I’ve searched the internet and come up with nothing. By next week, I will find my favorite shirtless someone and all will be right with the world. Until then, we’ll go with the tried and true - that little manwhore, Harry Potter and the Sixpack of Doom:

I used the black and white shot thinking it would be classier (I know by definition Shirtless anything isn’t classy I know), but every time I look at that picture - the poor boy is so pale his skin is the same color as the horse. If it weren’t for the treasure trail, it would be hard to see him at all. It’s like a naked Where’s Waldo? *snicker* I’m going to hell. It’s a well established fact at this point *snickers again*

Anyway, enjoy Shirtless Saturday in all it’s perverted glory. Any shirtless requests? Drop me a line or leave a comment. See you Monday.

Tags: Harry Potter, mantitty, My Little Pony, pictures

You probably noticed the last two days after saying that I couldn’t post during work hours I’ve been posting during work hours. Well, guess what? I learned a new trick! I wrote the post the night before, saved it, then posted it the next day. I’m all sneaky and shit, right? No? Shut up.

Anyway, today is Free-Write Friday and I felt silly free-writing Friday when it was still Thursday and didn’t do any free-writing (okay, I lied. I played Age of Mythology. Happy now? Geez!). Therefore, I have an old free-write I did back when they still had a local writing group I could go to once a week. They moved it to nine in the morning not long after I wrote this and now I think they’ve discontinued it all together, but that’s neither here nor there nor of any interest to anybody really. I’ll shut up.

So here it is - a free-write I actually got in trouble for because I didn’t take the entire five minutes to write on the prompt I met a stranger today. The group leader asked me why I wasn’t writing and I said because I was done. She informed me that it couldn’t be done because the time wasn’t up. You decide:

I Met a Stranger Today

I met a stranger today in the most unlikely place. I was standing in my bathroom, brushing my teeth and there in the mirror was someone I didn’t recognize. Where did she come from?

This person was overweight. She wore no make up. Her hair was a stringy mess and was that a gray hair peeking out of the tangled mass? She looked old - too old for her years. There were wrinkles on her face and bags under her eyes. There was a tiredness in her eyes too deep for sleep to erase.

Where did this stranger come from and how come I never noticed her before? How can I stop her from becoming a stranger again?

See? Done. She agreed too, but asserted that I missed the point of a five minute free-write as being five minutes of writing. Still, I’m pretty proud of that little passage.

Tomorrow is Shirtless Saturday! I’m a)so excited b)a huge perv c)all of the above. If anybody’s reading this, maybe you can send in suggestions on who you’d like to see shirtless here. I’ve got a couple of weeks worth of ideas, but after that, we’ll have to see who inspires.

Back to work now. May the road rise up to meet your feet.

Tags: Snippet

So have a Cookie Monster:

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Remember a couple of posts ago I was suggesting you go read Romancing the Blog? Well I think there’s a weird mind meld-y thing between this blog and that one. A couple of hours after I posted about being afraid of readers not liking my book, a post entitledIt’s Okay if You Don’t Like Raisins was posted as if in rebuttal to my self-flagellation. I’m not self important or delusional enough to think that the post was put there just for me, but it was what I needed to read to get me to move forward.

Today I’m taking my book to lunch and I’m going to sit in the bar at Chili’s and read it. I may or may not return to work afterward as they make an excellent Long Island Iced Tea and my son has his learner’s permit. I’m sure he’d love to drive me home - anyone willing to give my son a ride to Chili’s later today? Thanks in advance.

Tags: Link, nano, pictures

I had several options for Wednesday so I decided why stick to just one? Wednesday is a free for all day. WooHoo! Party time! Excellent!

Hang on. I gotta rest. That’s too much enthusiasm for one paragraph.

Okay, so far on my to do list, I’ve kept my job (as previously mentioned), I bought Diet Coke for the office (and drank some of it), I’ve come up with names for every day of the week except Thursday and Sunday (I hadn’t planned on coming up with one for Sunday anyway), and I haven’t proofed my proof.

Thursday and Sunday I can live with not having cutesy names. Proofing my proof on the other hand is pretty damn important. Also I haven’t told or shown anyone I know in my everyday life (family, co-workers, etc.) that I even wrote a book let alone got it all book-ified with a cover and pages. I realize that I’m suffering from stage fright again.

If I proof the book, I’ll have to go to Createspace and authorize it for listing. It’ll be out there. People could potentially see it. They could laugh and point and tell me I suck. What’s weird is people do that without knowing I wrote a book and I really couldn’t care less that they do it when it’s just about me. But they could laugh and point and tell me my imagination sucks.

Think about that for a second. I’ll wait.

As a reasonably well adjusted adult, people saying I’m fat, I’m ugly, I smell funny doesn’t bother me in the least (I can lose weight if I want, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and “smell” is a sense not a discriptor. Do I crinkle my nose too much when I sniff? I stink therefore I shower.) Tell me my daydreams are “wrong” and woe.

As I sit here typing I know that I have done my own share of ridiculing stories, novels, fics that didn’t fit my particular tastes. What I pointed and laughed at was the fruit of someone’s imagination. I guess knowing how cruel I can be, I don’t want to give someone else the opportunity to do it to me. I can dish it out, but I can’t take it.

The thing is, it’s just an opinion. My garbage is someone else’s treasure and vice versa. The difference between me and those people who published their stories, novels, and fic is that they were brave enough to hold their treasure above their head and shout proudly about it. They’re brave enough to say “this is mine, read it”. I am a coward.

I am a coward, but like being fat, ugly, or stinky (not smelly, dammit), there’s something I can do about it.

Tags: Random

touting(v.) - To promote or praise energetically; publicize

I don’t know about the “energetically” part, but Tuesdays are going to be given over to links or books or whatever else has caught my attention during the course of the week. I realize it’s late in the day, but one of my “to do” list items yesterday was keep my job so that’s why I waited until after work to blog. I’m thinking next week I’ll try to write the post the night before and post in the morning. This first week, since I’m still not sure what each day’s theme is, my sharing is going to have to be outside of business hours.

I thought today I’d link some writing blogs I like to read. They’re geared toward romance because that’s what I like to write and read. I could go on a long rant about how people belittle both writers and readers of romance, but I’m more of a show, don’t tell kinda girl. I think time will show that romance is a genre read and written by intelligent, interesting people. You’ll see. Tell me when you do see so I can gloat kthx.

First up: Romancing the Blog

I just found this site recently, but I’ve been devouring it as fast as my little browser can refresh. It’s a communal blog with a daily post. Subjects range from writing craft to publishing to marketing.

Second: Writer Unboxed

Also a recent find. I admit that I’ve been looking at this site more for it using the same Wordpress theme as my blog so I can get ideas on ways to improve my little corner of the web. It is also a communal blog with daily posts filled to bursting with useful and timely information about writing as well as interviews with successful authors.

Lastly: Romance Writers of America

Romance Writers of America is an organization formed to help romance writers build their careers. Every year I look at this site and wish I was a member. I’ve even filled out the application a few times. One of these days, Alice….

So there you are, all touted to. Go forth and multiply - as Bill Cosby once said: when God told Adam and Eve to go have children, he was mad. Something to keep in mind.

Tags: Link, writing